“Common Emotions,” A Poetry Collection

 

2f537397bd7421fdca931a9ce7d5ecb9.jpg

 

 

 

IMG_1129.JPG

Waiting

Paused in a time vacuum that could either swallow me up, or cruelly leave me floating–

I feel like a gaping hole of need, wanting and taking and remaining unfulfilled…

…and I know I got myself here, with a lot of help from ideals that bled through their tourniquets for too long–

I’m cutting them out so I can grab them with my hands, obliterate them at last, and finally move on within the relief of realism.

I have dreams of fried chicken, orchards, shade from the heat, rows of marijuana leaves growing strong under the sun behind the trees,

and restoration,

and real, lasting love.

Untitled presentation (97).jpg


Oppression

Depression is a misnomer, really–

oppression is more accurate for this thing that

seemed to sneak up behind me

and tangle me so tortuously with its thick invisible paws,

and its heavy, wet towel skin,

and its skyscraper body wider than the sea.

Untitled presentation (98).jpg


Untitled

I’m too much when everything is quiet.

(being alone is fun.)

It took so much effort just to wake up–

Hope bounced back then, but she’s disappeared again and left me bereft, and it’s only mid-morning…

I’ll wait around for her to come back my way–

How I long for her to sneak up beside me and say, “look at that–isn’t that cool?”

I should be filled with beautiful thoughts, but I’ve managed to use them up again. It’s only lunchtime!

No one can save me but Hope, and she’s gone to lunch or to the movies again. Why doesn’t she ever say when she will be back?  Afraid to leave the house because I’m not sure if she has a key…

Hope could have gone on a long vacation, tired of me, needing a break. Maybe she’s sunning herself on a rock somewhere, drinking a Pina Colada and laughing.

My mouth tastes like death, and I’m cold. Maybe I really have the flu and should go back to bed…

I want to go back home.  I want to start over.  I want to feel and not have it explode in my face–

Nothing works right here!

Everything breaks when you use it!

Untitled presentation (99).jpg


Appreciation

 This is new; this had been here forever–

Seeing it is the new part.

Seeing is not judging or wanting.

It is new to just appreciate.

Untitled presentation (100).jpg


 Real Things

My real things were here all along, and I just didn’t see them–

My days are counting the change in the couch to buy cigarettes, and pawning my great aunt’s ring, and not driving too much to save gas, and bouncing my health insurance check…

…and staring into myself hard enough to see the darkness and the light, knowing that my efforts may not earn me a reprieve or a dollar in time for me to retain my independence,

but also knowing that’s not why the effort is worth it anyway.


Shut Yourself Up

you are too intense. you make people tired.

why do you take everything so seriously? why is it so important to understand it all?

you should be quiet. you’re dominating the conversation again.

do you need to be the center of attention? can’t you learn to sit still?

you make people tired, they don’t want to analyze everything.

why don’t you just go write it down? why don’t you just keep it under  your bed?

you are too intense for yourself, you make yourself sick–

too much thinking about the wrong things can do that,

you should just go watch tv.


Being Depressed

It is almost harder to describe or make sense of than actually just going through.

Having come out on the other side, having the chance to explain, and not knowing how…

Is it that the words disappeared with it when it was over?

Or that the vocabulary to describe it left when my brain became stable?

That the cost of surviving is keeping the whole thing a secret?


More Coming Soon!

Thank You for Reading, Y’all!

 

0e2e46362ef1262620b79312db42f5d2.jpg

IMG_1220.JPG

twitter4 (1).jpg

Presentation80.jpg

3 thoughts on ““Common Emotions,” A Poetry Collection

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s